The Goodrums

Oh the woes of Comcast. They add such brilliance to a Friday night.

So the story goes as follows:

November rolls along. Knowing that we're going to be gone in South Africa (post coming soon, I promise!) when the Comcast bill comes in December, I paid extra in November to cover the December bill. We return from our trip and there was no Comcast bill for December in our huge stack of mail. I guess they decided not to send a copy since the bill was already paid. Problem is I am required to have a copy of the bill to get reimbursed (the bill's for the internet service I use to work... since I currently work at home).

So... I tried to login to the Comcast.com billing site to print a copy of the bill. Login rejected. What? Even though I have the login and password recorded in a file and the login should be undebatable, I went ahead and tried several different combinations of usernames and passwords.

And then the ridiculousness really began.

Enter username and password. "Password is incorrect."

Since none of the passwords are working, click on the forgot password link. "Sorry. There is no security question associated with this profile. Please recreate your account." Hmmm... security question must be new since last login (granted last login has probably been a while).

Attempt to create a new profile using the original login as directed, complete with a security question. "This username already exists. Please login to your existing account." I can't folks. That's why I'm doing this.

Attempt to create a new profile using new login/email address. "We can not create your login at this time because the account number you are using already exists in our records. Please log in to your existing web membership or call 1-800-COMCAST for assistance."

Ok, so let me get this straight. My login/password doesn't work but I can't reset it because you added a security question that my online account doesn't have. You instruct me to recreate the login, but the login can't be recreated because that login already exists (please use your old login). Yet I can't use my old login because the password isn't working and I can't reset it. And a new login can't be created because there is already a login associated with the account number. Great.

So I called Comcast. After the requisite, "please continue to hold, your call is important to us" (yeah right!) for 20 minutes, I finally got connected to an agent who said "I can't help with internet problems" and transfers me to another agent (more holding), etc. After finally getting an agent in the right department on the line, I proceeded to explain the situation. Really... all I want is a copy of my bill.

The agent, of course, was "new" and not so competent. She spent 20 minutes figuring out how to reset the password to our Comcast.net account. For some reason, the Comcast.net account is not linked to the Comcast.com account. They are two separate logins run by two separate databases. Once the Comcast.net account was reset, she directed me to click on the "Manage Your Bill" link the account management section, which promptly asks you for your Comcast.com login. So all this accomplishes nothing.

Now we're actually working on the correct login - Comcast.com (the billing system). After another 20 minutes of hem-hawwing and checking with supervisors, they determined that our Comcast.com login is tied to a user ID jgoodrum@comcast.net. They reset the password to jgoodrum@comcast.net and had me attempt to login. I actually got past the login screen! Progress... or so I thought.

The screen that pulled up has a button "Send me an Activation Email." I clicked the button. It sends an email to jgoodrum@comcast.net, which you are supposed to then check and the click the email link to activate the account. Problem being, I don't have a password for jgoodrum@comcast.net. As they got to checking, they realized that jgoodrum@comcast.net belonged to me in one database but belonged to a Julie Goodrum in Colorado in another. She actually has access to the email account.

So this is really great. Someone else has now been sent activation emails to view our account. And I still don't have access to the SIMPLE BILL that I want.

At this point, Comcast told me that they have a mess on their hands (really?) and that it's going to take a week or longer to unscramble. I don't have a week or longer before my expense report is due, so they have to figure out a way to get me a copy of my bill quickly. They said they would connect me back to the billing department (where I started). At this point, I started chirping (South African term, I think it might really be spelled "chirruping") and said that they better talk to the billing agent and tell them what I'd been through and advocate to get a copy of this bill faxed or emailed to me immediately. After another 20 minutes on hold, the technical support agent finally came back on the line and said the billing department couldn't do anything. She had another 800# to give me. No contact person. No advocacy on my behalf. Not even sure they're open anymore. You... have... got... to... be... freaking... kidding... me...

So after over an hour on the phone and no progress, I call the second 800 number. 20 minutes on hold. "Your call is soooo important to us. Stay on the line for-stinking-ever." You start to wonder if all the customer service representatives left and went home and just left you in the endless loop of the "your call is so important to us" out of spite.

I put the phone on mute. I talked to Michael for a while. I went to the bathroom (this is when you know you've had it!). I heated up dinner. I sat down to eat. Finally, someone answered the phone. I'm like: "Look, I've been through way too much tonight. All I want is a copy of my bill. I need it now. I'm locked out of my Comcast account. I've spent over an hour on the phone with technical support. They are going to take a week or more to fix the problem. I just want my bill. It's your error in the first place. You didn't send me my bill. I just need it faxed or emailed tonight."

Thankfully this girl is actually nice and seems competent - but as it would have it, "I came from the accounting department and, unfortunately, Colorado law prohibits us from sending bills by fax or email." Seriously folks. Seriously.

They're supposed to mail a copy of the bill. It will arrive sometime next week. I might be able to go to a payment center and get a copy of the bill but I don't have much trust in the system at this point.

Seriously, how do these folks stay in business? Customer disservice. The incompetence floors me.