The Goodrums

From the candidates in the Colorado election this year:

• Do you support the nationwide legalization of marijuana?
  Candidate Response: "I support the legalization of cannabis. The term "marijuana" has racist connotations."
  
  
• Do you favor more or less restriction of marijuana than Colorado currently imposes?
  Candidate Response: "... We [Colorado] must become the Silicon Valley of hemp research!"
  
  
• Is state spending on public education too high, too low, or about right?
  Candidate Response: "... We need to prepare students for the 21st century and educate both sides of the brain. The data proves that Arts Education is essential, if one subject were to be offered it should be Dance."
  Forget math, science, reading. Dance is where it's at folks.
  
  
• Is state funding adequate for K-12 and higher education in Colorado?
  Candidate Response: "Absolutely not. We have schools around the state that are falling apart, textbooks that are over a decade old and an incomplete Internet."
  Evidently limits to the comprehensiveness of the internet are attributable to inadequate state funding for education in Colorado. 

Only the best and brightest running for office here in Colorado.

"When Solomon said there was a time and place for everything, he had not encountered the problem of parking his automobile." - Bob Edwards

This one was just too good to pass up. Michael received the card below for his birthday this year...

Cracked up when I saw this. Death Star uterus - so appropriate for life as of late.... :)

In honor of the end of the 2013 Colorado state legislative session:

"Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important." - Eugene McCarthy

Best commentary I've seen on the DC earthquakes so far:

"Fox News claims the Washington monument is leaning to the right, MSNBC claims it’s leaning to the left."

"As all of DC leaves work at the same time, the United States experiences a brief economic recovery."

Not much humor to be found on the CO earthquake - since it hardly made even local news. This one would probably apply though...

"OMG! AFTERSHOCK... Oh, wait... that's just my phone on vibrate."

Thanks to the DenverPost for contributing a laugh this morning.

"If Pac-Man had affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in dark rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music."
- Marcus Bridgstocke

Been awhile on the Monday humor, but this one was too good to pass up!

The Tabloid Times today reported on a boulder that fell and hit a car in the area of the recent I-70 rockslide.

According to the Post:

"a boulder about the size of a pumpkin, or 2 to 3 feet wide, rolled down the hillside"

Ummm, when was the last time you encountered a pumpkin that was 3 feet wide? I laughed out loud. Someone needs to take remedial math or something.

As Christmas decorations begin to come down, here's a good laugh at someone else's hilarious decorating adventures...

"Good news is that I truly out did myself this year with my Christmas
decorations. The bad news is that I had to take him down after 2 days. I
had more people come screaming up to my house than ever. Great stories. But two
things made me take it down. First, the cops advised me that it would cause
traffic accidents as they almost wrecked when they drove by. Second, a 55 year
old lady grabbed the 75 pound ladder and almost killed herself putting it
against my house; she didn't realize it was fake until she climbed to the top
(she was not happy). By the way, she was one of many people who attempted to do
that. My yard couldn't take it either. I have more than a few tire tracks where
people literally drove up my yard.

Kind of feel like I gave in to 'the man' by taking him down but my neighbor did confirm to near miss accidents on the busy street next to my house. I think I made him too real this time...

So it was fun while it lasted!"

Again, I have unintentionally aquired the position of work's resident IT guru. Not long ago, Michael stumbled upon this nice little flow chart.

I mean, seriously, this is how it is. In truth, most IT types probably know little about computers. Those that have perfected the systems below are the good IT people. Those that have not - well, keep them far away from your computer.

And while most of the time I don't mind helping, there are sometimes you feel like tacking this to people's foreheads. :)

Now that the swine flu fears have died down a bit, here are some of my favorite moments of related humor:

Gawker's "Aporkalypse Now"

In state politics:
As top ag officials nationwide pushed health officials to come up with a new name for "swine flu," fearing that consumers will think it's related to eating pork when it it's not, Colorado Senate Democrats suggested that state Senator Bob Bacon (D-Fort Collins) should be referred to as the "gentleman from Larimer County" until flu fears calm down.

6/30/09 edit: In related news, I sound like I have swine flu with my hacking cough of late due to the vog in Hawaii. Hope to kick this nasty respiratory junk soon.

Another Colorado politics moment of humor.

During this year's session, the door to the Colorado Senate Majority leader's office had this sign on it:

The standing joke was that Republicans weren't allowed in the office. For the real explanation, click here.

Oh my great home state!

On tax day, the New York Times reported that Texas governor Rick Perry "energized a crowd of about 1,000 by accusing the Obama administration of restricting states’ rights and vaguely suggesting that Texas might want to secede from the union." Only in Texas...

Couldn't pass this one up. The social media frenzy described to a "T."

Michael likes to call himself a "conservative" just because he likes to conserve stuff (he's in a green energy field, likes to use compact fluorescent bulbs, recycles, etc.). I tell him often that that would be a "conservationist" but to not avail. I think he'd be in the "goose killer" camp. :)

Given my new role in state politics, I found this little comedy routine at the Capitol to be entertaining:

State Rep. Mark Waller ribbed our local state Rep. Frank McNulty that he had

"no business weighing in on agricultural issues just because the area he
represents has the word 'ranch' in it."

Just in case anyone's unaware, we live in the suburbia of suburbias, "Highlands Ranch." Michael joked that we should get a tractor. But if we do, we should definitely keep it away from Amy Kern. :)

Overheard recently during dinner out at a Thai restaurant:

Scene: Two ladies placing their order. One is an experienced Thai diner; the other obviously a newbie. The first lady places her order without incident. The second lady places her order accompanied by the following exchange:

Hostess: "Would you like one pepper or two pepper?"
Newbie: "What kind of pepper?" (clearly thinking she would be receiving an actual pepper - bell pepper, jalapeno pepper, anaheim pepper, etc.)
Experienced Diner (with a look of embarrassment): "Um, hello. It means 'how spicy.'"

We got quite a kick out of it.

So the blog is very neglected right now - sorry. Will work on getting some pictures and fun stuff posted. I think we may be all text on here. Yikes!

For now, and continuing in the text theme, a story about dinner.

Tonight I was craving Thai. We went to a little place nearby. Cute decor, good food. Hmm... the music. At first, the music was normal - well 10 or so years old but Top 40s from that era. Nothing too out of place.

A short time later the station switched to classical spanish. We decided it was "fusion" - spanish language music in a Thai restaurant. The hostess commented to the owner about how incongruent the music was.

A short time later the music switched again - to soft piano tunes. However, the closer I listened, the more puzzled I got. Soon enough, we confirmed that it was indeed Christmas music. O Christmas Tree was playing in the Thai restaurant in January. It was worth a good laugh if nothing else.