The Goodrums

It is rather late and I should really go to bed, but for some reason I am not. It started with this Amish Cinnamon Sourdough Bread that my mom brought with her from DC this past weekend. I had to finish the recipe and didn't get it into the oven until 10:39 so it took until 11:52 to come out of the oven (I had to bake it an extra twelve minutes). So I was staying up waiting on the bread. Then I decided to finish working on this response to a very weighty question posed by my little sister in Oklahoma. Then came the blog post for spring that I had intended to do about a month ago; I guess technically spring is just starting here in Denver so I'm kind of on schedule. Anyway, that led to this blog post and a discussion of the epiphany I had yesterday afternoon in the midst of angst and stress and the five year plan that God kind of laid out before me which I have taken quite a liking to.

So, for those who don't know (which means you either haven't talked with us in months, or you have not read the blog in the last few months either) I applied to graduate school this year. I applied for the academic year beginning in the fall of 2009. I had a plan originally. I was going to go to the University of Colorado and study in their Building Systems Program. I have had that plan since we lived in Jackson, MS. Well, about a year ago, the plan got updated. This was another epiphany type moment and resulted in another likable plan that God sort of laid out. The updated plan was this: I would get my M.S. in the Building Systems Program at Colorado, and then I would get a Ph.D. in Architecture, and then I would somehow begin (or join) a company/nonprofit/ministry/something that provided sustainable buildings and facilities to people in developing countries and also for ministries working in developing countries. I like sustainable design, I like urban planning (probably not used quite as much in developing countries), I like architecture, I like helping people, and I like to travel cool places. These things add up to a good idea. You probably ask why a Ph.D. in Architecture. Two reasons, I like architecture (see above), and for some weird reason I have always kind of had in the back of my mind that getting a Ph.D. would be cool. Mostly because I like school and really like learning new things. At one point in time during college, I decided my career path was going to be a Renaissance Man.

Anyway, that was the updated plan. So I tried contacting Colorado to see if I might visit the department and get some more information about the program and all. Well, the response I received from Colorado was less than impressive and I was quite disappointed in them. Enter Jennifer, who casually said, "Man, if you were school shopping that might put them at the bottom of the list." This concept was new to me and didn't jive with the plan I had. But it was like, "whoa, maybe I am school shopping. What else is out there?" Thus, I began a more exhaustive search of programs similar to the one at Colorado. There are not very many. Perhaps half a dozen that I found. As I reviewed different programs I started to get excited about graduate school (I really like learning new things) and I decided I was just going to apply. No more wasting time trying to get all my ducks in a row before sending in an application; I would be like Nike and just do it. The number four came from somewhere. I was going to apply to four different programs because you pick your top three so four programs makes sense. So, I narrowed down my gargantuan list to four. Two programs I already knew about: the University of Colorado and Carnegie Mellon University. Two programs I had not known about: the University of Southern California and the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. The programs all differed some in their focus, they don't even have the same names, but each had interesting aspects. My list, in order of preference, honestly went MIT, Colorado, USC, Carnegie Mellon. I know, you're thinking that MIT was at the top just because I'm an engineer and MIT is a big name in engineering. Yes. But they also have a really cool Building Technology Program (I know, I've visited, but that comes later) that I found quite intriguing.

In July (I think) I got a GRE book and studied. A lot. And then some more. Just a note for anyone planning to take the GRE; the practice tests (paper) provided in the ETS GRE Prep book are bunk. They will inflate your confidence only to dash your hopes against the computer adaptive test provided with the GRE PowerPrep software. I took the GRE and did well enough to be pleased with my score. Then I started on applications. These take a lot of work. Here is where I say that I forgot to mention the part about how all kinds of pieces (like meeting with old professors and asking for recommendations) worked out too smoothly for this plan to be all my own. I waffled on whether or not I should pursue graduate school and got a pretty clear yes. Anyway, Jennifer was the best wife ever the whole time. She supported me and encouraged me to study, to work on applications, she read my statement of purpose over and over. Applications went in December/January and then I did something foolish; I didn't get after financial aid (fellowships and grants) like I should have. That mistake is past, but something learned for the future. I waited. I waited for response from the schools, hoping and anticipating I would get into programs I liked.

Well, all I can say is that God is good to me and though I shouldn't say it, sometimes I wonder why he likes me so much. I got admitted to all four programs (Jennifer posted on this a few weeks ago). I had not planned for this. This was a decision, a big decision, and it did not occur to me that I would ever need to make one until it was staring me in the face. The other thing I had not planned for was the time frame given you to make a decision. Depending on the program you get between a month and two weeks. "Here, make an extremely significant, potentially life changing decision in a period just short enough that your emotions won't have leveled out from celebrating your acceptances." I think that graduate schools do that on purpose so that they can get people to make impulse decisions like, "Wow, USC sent me lots of really cool booklets of information that look way better than everyone else's, I think I like them." There is also, "Oh my goodness, I just got into MIT. Like, really got into MIT. How could I not go to MIT?" So, needless to say choosing a graduate school is difficult.

I am not a current student. I am a working professional (even if I don't feel like it). Current students have a thing called mobility. That and a willingness to accept more debt. Working professionals lack some mobility. They also have an aversion to debt. This becomes a problem when you have applied to several out of state graduate schools that could be considered expensive. You saw my ranking earlier, so as you might expect, I early on trimmed my four to two. USC made a good offer and did have really professional looking stuff, but the programs at MIT and Colorado lined up with my interests better. Carnegie Mellon focuses on a part of my job I probably enjoy the least so they were kind of the fourth wheel (there weren't five to be had). Colorado had a visit day and I went. It was great. I met some of the professors (briefly) some of the current students (also briefly) and had the opportunity to hang out with other prospective students. It was cool too be around other people who liked talking about making building better and more efficient. The visit day was before I heard from MIT. I actually got the email (popped up on my screen thanks to Google Chat) while I was on the phone with my boss. I would not recommend finding yourself in that situation. Especially since I had not told my boss that I had applied anywhere but Colorado (I have a great boss by the way, and he has been extremely helpful and willing to work with me on the whole graduate school thing. I also forgot to mention the AWESOME employee scholar program now available to me at work). I was forced to try and focus on spreadsheets and reports while simultaneously not jumping up and down in my office. We went to dinner to celebrate (admittance into all four schools at that point actually) and opened a good bottle of wine.

I decided to visit MIT and my boss was great in allowing me to come up and combine the trip with work (he is in Boston). Just so you know, I used to not like MIT. Really, I didn't like the people I had met from MIT. With the exception of a few (like some of my professors) a lot of them had been arrogant and flaunted the MIT name. This made me not want to go to MIT. Somewhere between meeting these people and researching the Building Technology Program I had changed my mind. Now I found myself on campus to visit the department and meet with professors and students. All I can say is that MIT was impressive, or at least the little piece that I saw. The students I met were fantastic and the professors reminded me of those I liked most at A&M (and the students stories supported that). I liked MIT. I want to study at MIT. MIT is in Boston, we live in Denver. That requires a lot of changes. Moving, selling (or keeping?) a house, Jennifer finding a new job (after just starting one locally), finding a place to live in Boston (not cheap), figuring out how to pay for school after learning that working part time would not mesh well with the program expectations at MIT. A lot of concerns. These things literally gave Jennifer near panic attacks. I was blinded by what I wanted to do, so I could more easily ignore these facts. How could I pass on an opportunity like this? And this is what I wanted to do.

I came back from Boston a little disheartened at learning my original plan for paying for school (working and taking advantage of the employee scholar program) did not seem a realistic option. That gets back to the aversion to debt. Especially large amounts of debt. Jennifer and I talked and struggled with a decision about where to attend school. Jennifer wanted to stay here for many reasons; friends, work, logistics, finances. I wanted to go to MIT. They were my top choice that I hadn't expected to get into. They were my "reach school" to quote a coworker. Come yesterday at lunch I still did not have a decision. I kept changing my mind. I would read stuff about Colorado and think, "They have some cool opportunities, I think that could work." Then I would read about MIT and think, "Yeah, I like this program, this is the program for me." Everyone kept asking me if I had made a decision. This only pointed out to me my total lack of ability to be decisive on this issue. I did have a coworker ask me at work yesterday, "Why are you here? Why aren't you on a mountaintop or something?" I appreciated that. I was not the most effective or productive employee yesterday (or the last few days really). I read more about both MIT and Colorado; past and current research, professor biographies (some for the third or fourth time), program resources, etc. And then, it hit me. The epiphany if you will. Now that you have read this whole thing I will tell you what you really want to know. My new five year plan (I don't think I've ever actually had one before).

The five year plan is pretty simple, but appears to work out so well, like a lot of the things God does. I am planning to attend the University of Colorado in the fall and pursue a M.S. in the Building Systems Program. They offer some good coursework as well as field opportunities (Engineering for Developing Communities track) in sustainable design. The program at Colorado is very industry oriented and deals more with practical application than theory. This can be good in establishing a good working knowledge of systems and building a foundation to expand on. I would like to study under Dr. John Zhai, focusing on sustainable buildings, and perhaps doing research on building envelope. I remember Dr. Zhai from the visit day as the one professor I thought I would most like to work under. I called him yesterday and spoke with him on the phone for about 30 minutes and had a good conversation. He was even excited to hear someone was interested in building envelope research. One thing I learned in my furious perusal of program web pages yesterday was this: Dr. Zhai got his (second) Ph.D. in Building Technology from MIT. I had known he went to MIT, but I did not know he came from the Building Technology Program. The plan then is, I can study under Dr. Zhai and (hopefully) complete a M.S. and then (this is the best part) I can go on to (hopefully) complete a Ph.D. in the Building Technology Program at MIT (just for reference in relation to the updated plan mentioned above; the program at MIT is housed in the School of Architecture, so it's kind of like a Ph.D. in Architecture). I realize that this plan requires that I reapply to MIT and be readmitted to the program, but I know that God can make it happen. As I told a friend today; He already got me into MIT once. So many things about this make a lot of sense and it seems really possible. And the best part is that I am comfortable with this plan and the decision to attend Colorado at this point in time. And now I have a plan for the next five years. If you ask what I will do with a Ph.D. in Building Technology from MIT, the honest answer is that I don't know, but I just want to do it. I am sure that God will use it in the overall vision for sustainable buildings in developing countries. We don't get to know everything right away, so for now I am content and quite pleased with the five year plan as it stands. Now comes the hard part of patience, obedience, and diligence in following the plan set before me. I am excited though and we are both happy so that is a praise to God.

But it is late, so now to quote the strange but endearing post card I got from MIT: "i gots in to MIT. now sleeps"